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Friday, 4 April 2014

I'd like to blog again!

I hope you haven't forgotten me as it's been a while!

I can hardly believe we're into April already, but isn't it like that every year now.... whoosh... coming into Spring, blossom appearing on the trees, an uplifting time.

I'm not very good at saying how I am, I tend to brush things aside, play them down and smile and I've tried to keep my little blog a nice happy place. I still want it to be a positive place, but I'm going to write it down for anyone to see... I find life so hard. I've always suffered with depression on and off and I'm rather sensitive. I wrap myself up in my small family that is just my husband and children (the most marvelous people) and don't leave the house very often. I use a wheelchair when I go out, but that isn't really why I don't go out much, it's because I get so anxious and have such low self esteem. I'm very good at covering it up and meeting me would not reveal how scared and inadequate I feel. There are so many things I'd like to do, but don't know how, sometimes just getting out of bed is a major achievement. I'd love to meet more people and would love to go out and make some friends... I just don't know how to. I go to a lovely knit and natter group once a week and stress so much about going each time, but really enjoy being there and talking to other people who share my love of yarn.

So... why mention this now? Even though it's not the same as sitting with someone and having a cup of tea, reading and commenting on people's blogs and having people comment on mine is so uplifting. Though we don't 'see' each other and some of us live many miles apart, it's still a way of connecting to others and sharing a small part of our lives.

My husband has noticed that when I blog, I'm happy. Despite rarely feeling good enough I have shared pictures of things I've made and felt so uplifted by comments from readers, I've made connections with people, it's widened my small life.

So thank you for being there and I hope I haven't bored you to pieces or left it too long for people to come back and see me... and I have so much to photograph and show you and so many blogs to read and catch up with again.

I'm going to write another post with my latest happenings separate from this one (well done if you managed to read this).

Take care
xxx

44 comments:

  1. Oh Cheryl! Don't think you are alone in your feelings.
    I have very similar difficulties and I'm sure others amongst your followers do too.The internet and blogs in particular have become my life-line. I hate meeting new people face to face, though it is always fine when it happens, but my feelings about myself make it a nerve-wracking experience every time. On the face of it, I am a cheery person who doesn't let disability, money shortages or my hang-ups about the way I look show but, inside, I am often a bag of nervous disquiet.
    I have loved reading your past blog pages and am very definitely looking forward to your future ones.
    Jenni x

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    1. Maybe that's why I don't feel I meet many like minded people. we're all in our own homes worrying about meeting each other :) Thank you for commenting x

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  2. Hello again Cheryl
    Lovely to have you back. Your blog has remained on my sidebar all this time in the hope that I would see that you had a new post.
    looking forward to seeing you more often,
    Kate x

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    1. thank you, I'm looking forward to blogging again and catching up with everyone else x

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  3. I think I know where you are coming from. I am very, very shy, I find it hard to communicate, but I put my problems down to a very dominating mother. I also find blogging helps.
    Julie xxxxxxxxx

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    1. Thank you Julie, it does help knowing other's feel similar x

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  4. Hi there been wondering wheres my LPE friend.Was going though my bloggers list(I do not not have many followers but the people I have I appreciate) and was thinking have not seen any of your posts in a while. My posts get longer apart it depends what lifes throwing your way.So blog when you can and we will be here waiting for you,when you do x

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    1. Thank you for remembering me, I really appreciate it x

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  5. I never would have guessed from your posts that you are anything other than a cheery happy bubbly kind and talented person. I appreciate though that is not always how you feel on the inside! I hope that you can keep blogging and keep doing things that you enjoy such as your knitting group. You are a wonderful person, and writing things like this is very courageous and helps others to know that how they feel is normal and that they are not alone, so I salute you for doing this! Take care and keep going. Hope that you have a good weekend. xx

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    1. Thank you Amy, I really appreciate your comment, hope your weekend's good too x

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  6. Welcome back. You've certainly not bored me and I look forward to plenty of pictures and posts.
    Love from Mum
    xx

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  7. It's nice to hear from you again, Cheryl. I can relate to some of your struggle and I find that blogging helps me a lot too. Hugs to you, please know that we all look forward to your posts.

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    1. Thanks Jennifer, I look forward to catching up with your posts x

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  8. great to read your blog again. Blogland is a great place..........sometimes I think my laptop is my only link to the outside world!

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    1. Thank you, some of our best friends can be on these machines :) x

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  9. It's lovely to see a post from you. The things you have made and blogged about are beautiful - I wish I could get to grips with crochet!
    I understand a little of how you feel about things.
    Looking forward to your next post!

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    1. Thank you Scarlet, you're so talented I love reading your posts x

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  10. Best wishes, Cheryl. I agree that the blogging world is a little community. I stopped blogging for a year but just started again because I missed being part of that community. Hang in there! Look forward to seeing what you've been up to.

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    1. Thank you, I'm really pleased you're blogging again x

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  11. Hello and welcome back Cheryl, it's so lovely to hear from you again. Depression and anxiety are very difficult things to deal with and added to that low self esteem, it must be very difficult for you. I have suffered with depression and anxiety on and off over the years too and understand how hard it is to maintain some sense of normality when you really feel terrible. I'm glad the blogging community gives you a sense of being a part of a bigger community and interaction with other people in whatever form it takes is a good thing. Take care and I look forward to your next post.
    Anne xx

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    1. Thank you Anne, it is good to feel part of something and share with others x

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  12. Lovely Cheryl, your blog is lovely and it comes from the heart which means you are too. I think you should try meditation, or maybe acupuncture to help alleviate some of your anxiety. I have a friend that takes Xanax and it has changed her whole world. Just a small, tiny dose has made her life so much easier. I am sending you a big hug and want you to know I think you are great and I feel honored that you have opened up to all of us.
    Meredith

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. I like the idea of looking into meditation x

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  13. Hello Cheryl!

    Greetings from Tasmania :)

    Have just discovered your blog and look forward to more visits.

    xx

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    1. Hello and thank you Lynda, looking forward to getting to know you better x

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  14. Well done and lovely to have you back! Jane x

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  15. Welcome back Cheryl, and thank you for being so honest. Your blog is such a happy, creative, confident place I'd never have guessed you suffer with depression, although there are things we all choose to share (or not) on our blogs. I'm glad blogging brings you happiness and wish you all the best. x

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    1. Thank you Gillian, I love reading your blog and seeing your uplifting pictures x

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  16. Glad to have you back Cheryl. I've missed reading. It must have been hard to write all this. It's very hard sometimes to let other people in to know about ourselves. I have found that the blogging world is a wonerful place to talk about problems and worries. All those bloggy friends are always there for me and will be for you. We are a group who care for each other. I hope blogging again brings you happiness. I'm looking forward to seeing what you've been up to.

    Hugs,
    Sharon

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    1. Thank you Sharon, it is a lovely community isn't it x

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  17. Hey Cheryl,

    I think that you are entitled to share whatever you like on your blog. It obviously took a lot of courage to write this post. Lovely to see you back here. Take care.
    Leanne xx

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  18. Hello Cheryl I am looking forward to continuing reading your blog and it was you who got me into reading blogs and now I love it. You all do a fantastic job!!! Your always a lovely person when I see you at Knit and Natter and I always look forward to seeing you there. Thank you for explaining about your health and how you feel. Keep on blogging :-)))) xxx

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    1. Thank you Amanda, I do enjoy our Thursday afternoons x

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  19. How lovely to see you are back Cheryl! What a compliment ....that contact with all of us bloggers make you so happy . I admire your courage in sharing your thoughts with all of us and it is great that you feel you can do so here. Life is just not lineal and we all have our ups and downs. Personally if we only received sweet and angelic posts all the time I for one would wonder if I was in contact with human beings. It just can't be so you go on and share your thoughts and I for one will be here in bloggy land to read it.

    Take care now

    Amanda :-)

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    1. Thank you Amanda, I enjoy your posts too, you were one of the first blogs I started to read x

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  20. Nice to see you blogging again. I think the internet is a lifeline for so many people, we just don't know it as people are able to hide their true feelings on here. I'm pleased that you've felt able to confide in us, and I hope that you can overcome your doubts and get out a bit more, perhaps ask someone at the knit and natter group if they'd like to join you for a coffee afterwards. Looking forward to hearing more from you.

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  21. Well lady, your blog is listed on the sidebar of my blog so how could I forget you! I have been a bit behind reading blogs, spending time trying to get my life organized, and instead creating more messes! Good grief! So glad to see you back and I think you should do whatever you can that makes you happy. When you are happy, your family is happy!

    Cindy Bee

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    1. Thank you Cindy, love reading your blog too xx

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  22. Cheryl, how very brave you are to blog about this! I'm sure there are many people who will be encouraged by it. So many people suffer from depression and low self-esteem, and those of us who don't, *know* someone (or more than one) who does. So glad to see you back blogging, especially since it's something that makes you happy. Keep up the good work!

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  23. I'm so happy that you've decided to come back to us Cheryl, and thank you for being so open and honest about these things. I also have been bothered off and on over the years with depression, and although not severe it has been 'troublesome' to say the least! Blogging has really helped me too - so many lovely people like yourself have been so encouraging and inspiring and have, indeed, become good friends! I hope that you soon settle back into the routine and feel happy - I'm certainly happy that you're back and obviously so are many others. I'm late with this comment for as you know I just had my little break but so glad I saw your post. Thanks for popping over and leaving your message on mine! Keep smiling! Love, Joy xo

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Thank you for popping by, I love to read your comments